10 Ways to Self-Improvement

It’s time we stopped thinking of self improvement as a new sweep of lipstick, hair cut or wardrobe overhaul and started remembering that improving ourselves goes more than skin deep. From being a better friend, making peace with your parents to improving your own well-being, start making improvements from within with our 10 ways to self improvement and emerge a more fulfilled, happier person.

1. Keep your dignity

It’s not easy in this binge-drinking, social networking, desperate to get ahead society to keep your dignity but try it and you’ll be respected, successful and people will love you all the more for it. Having dignity is knowing who you are and what you stand for and not swaying from those principles no matter what those around you are doing. People with dignity don’t need to brag, show off or draw attention to themselves because they are not interested in what others think, they are too busy getting on with their own lives and being happy with themselves to be concerned with following the crowd. You don’t need to be prudish and superior, have fun, just don’t lose control and make a prat of yourself.

2. Forgive your parents

There comes a time in every adult’s life when you have to stop resenting and blaming the people who raised you and simply forgive and forget. Yes, your parents may have made your childhood and even adulthood a misery and yes, they may continue to be completely oblivious to the constant annoyance, guilt and misery they cause you but, by continuing to hold onto the blame and resentment you feel towards them you will only make yourself miserable and angry and there is only one person responsible for how you feel and that’s you. 

Author of the international bestseller The Rules Of Life, Richard Templar offers some words of advice when it comes to trying to forgive your parents, ‘As offspring you do have a duty to be respectful. You have a responsibility to treat them (your parents) kindly and be more than they are by being forgiving and non-judgemental. You can rise above your upbringing.’

3. Share your time and talent

We’ve become so concerned with having full, busy lives and being popular that it’s easy to forget how to be a good friend, or even a good person. Everyone is busy, that’s what living is, and if we weren't we’d be sat on the sofa watching Friends reruns every night. Don’t hang onto your time like it’s a sacred thing, share it and share your knowledge while you’re at it. Everyone knows something about something and has at least one skill they can share with others, whether that’s DIY, sewing, speaking a language, playing an instrument or writing beautifully. It’s important to pass on what you know and not give in to that feeling of having the upper hand just because you know something no one else does. Try it, you’ll feel good about yourself, have fun and learn something new.

4. Feel the fear

We all have our comfort zones and there’s nothing wrong with that but refuse to step outside of it every once in a while and your life will become stagnant and dull. Challenging and frightening ourselves regularly not only injects us with a new found love of life and feeling of self-confidence, it also prepares us for those unexpected moments when life takes a turn for the worst. By doing something that scares us regularly, we realise that we can handle those tough situations and life won't seem as stressful as it would if you walk through it with blinkers on. In his bestselling book,Fear – The Friend Of Exceptional People, BAFTA winner and author Geoff Thompson calls tackling the fear of the unknown exposure therapy and discusses how visualising yourself succeeding and failing will help anyone tackle something that terrifies them; ‘Plan ahead: don’t enter blind.Imagine the good, the bad and the ugly. I always pictured myself the victor and used this as inspiration. I also looked at the worst-case scenario and visualised myself handling that gracefully.’

5. Be a better friend

Research shows that if you have five or more friends you are a happier person so being a better friend will not only make you a better person, it will also make you a happier one too. You might well be thinking, ‘well, I’m OK I have tons of friends’ but how good a friend are you really? Do you regularly cancel plans with your friends? Or leave the planning to someone else? Or do you ever bitch about or criticise your friends behind their back? Being a good friend does mean being honest with your friends but it doesn’t involve saying something mean. Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project devoted an entire month to improving her friendships and describes how doing good deeds for others is more important than others doing good deeds for you. ‘I get more satisfaction out of thinking about good deeds I’ve done for other people than I do from thinking about good deeds that other people have done for me. It’s a secret of Adulthood: Do good, feel good.’

6. Join a library

If you haven’t been in the library since you were at school you’re in for a big surprise. The days of rows upon rows of worn, dated books are long gone. These days libraries not only have WI-FI, computers, cafes and bestsellers, they have language CDs, music CDs, the latest DVDs and even e-books for your e-reader. As well as saving you money, you’ll also discover books you never would have come across if you were just browsing online and you’ll be helping the environment by re-using books too. Most libraries now host book clubs, writing workshops and poetry clubs too so they’re a great way to meet other people and learn new skills.

7. Pursue a passion

All of us have at least one dream that makes us gaze into the distance and think, ‘yes, one day, that’s what I’d like to do’. Well, what’s stopping you? OK, adult responsibilities and money probably, but tweak your dream to make it more realistic and you could still pursue your passion. After all, it was C. S. Lewis who said ‘You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream’. Always fancied yourself as a master chef or restaurant owner? Start a dinner club and compete against your friends and colleagues at dinner parties. Want to write a book? Start or join a writing club. Want to learn how to play an instrument? Rent one and ask a family member to pay for a couple of lessons for you for a birthday present (or see rule 3. Pursuing your passion will not only make you happier but it will help put other things in perspective; your crappy job won’t seem so crappy, your boyfriend actually isn’t that annoying, it’s just that your unhappiness is making you grumpy and you’ll find that you’re actually more brave that you thought you were for taking that leap and trying something new.

8. Switch off the TV

How much time do you spend a week watching television? When you add up all of those hours sat on the sofa, you may be shocked. TV has gone from being a form of entertainment and way to relax to a mere distraction from reality. Switching on the TV every evening and weekend allows us to switch off from our own lives and the problems that exist within it such as a stressful or mundane career, loneliness and low self-esteem. As well as giving us an excuse to ignore unresolved issues, TV stops us from communicating effectively. We used to sit down and have real conversations instead of watching television but these days, it’s rare that you will sit and speak to someone without checking or glancing at your phone, the internet, or TV. Try setting yourself a time limit for your weekly TV viewing and see what you can achieve in the time you would have wasted. That might be calling a friend or family member, going for a walk or reading a book. You’ll soon realise just how much you’ve been missing out on.

9. Go swimming

Swimming has numerous health benefits and if you haven’t yet found a form of exercise that you enjoy then you should take a deep breath, buy a costume that you feel good in and take the plunge. As well as being a great non-impact form of exercise, swimming is a great stress reliever. The contact with the water coupled with the regular rhythm and concentration of the stroke acts like a form of meditation helping to ease away the stress and worries that have built up throughout the day. You can also burn between 200 and 300 calories from just 30 minutes of swimming and it helps to tone your entire body rather than just one muscle group making it a great all-round sport.

10. Become an early bird

Going to bed earlier and getting up before the rest of the world can be incredibly liberating and is a great way to start the day. The next time Saturday comes around, get up at your normal weekday time and go straight out for a walk, even if it’s only a leisurely stroll to get the milk and papers. You’ll feel as if you’ve accomplished something instead of just sleeping in and waking up groggy and set the tone for the rest of the weekend. If you’re one of those people who often feels guilty when you’re doing nothing, getting up early will also make you feel as if you deserve to relax with a coffee and a chat to a loved one later in the morning. 




Source: Yahoo! UK & Ireland Lifestyle